2003-12-16 - 7:08 p.m.

Seeing them the only thought that keeps running through my head is I don't want to lose them yet, I don't want to be without them. It's like this needed burden that weighs on my shoulders but I know that the choices I have made are not going to be to their liking. But I want so much to be happy. I want so much to have it all and I know I can't I know that's not possible. I take what I can get i suppose.

I can't wait to get to where I want to go, I don't even know where it is I"m going anymore. My whole life was planned out to the very year...and then I took an unexpected turn into happiness and I've never felt soo...I have no idea. But now it's like this adventure and you don't know what's up ahead but you're so excited to get going that you continue to strive to get there. Life throws out so many obstacles so many victories, so much pain and so much desire that you're overwhelmed with emotion and temptation. Generalities seem to have taken the best of me.

I'm like a fragmented sentance where the word choice is exquisite but the idea is unfinished. I think I might be getting a bit closer to acknowledgement and completion!

Alrighty then! heheehe Well it'll be thirty minutes till Kris calls. hehe She's talking to me online, working on her room. Her house is a mess *snicker snicker* She's crazy but you gotta love her...She's probably helped me grow more than ever and I'm glad she's walked into my life. *plays with nose ring* My toe hurts...eeeek my nose ring is stuck!! *ouch* la dee da la de da!