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2003-12-10 - 3:00 a.m. Wonder and wander and forget the lies! I don't know...i just don't know!! lol Stuff is a complicated issue, you see stuff, is what makes you crazy. "whatcha thinking about?" "oh ya know, stuff" hmmmmm I think about what I want to be when I'm all grown up, will I ever grow up? It's three am and I want to know the answers that unlock the mysteries of the universe. I bought a tarot deck today and started to read...craziness. My life can be seen in so many perspectives it's insane! Do I exist, a spiritual teenager you may ask, one who is young of age but old in soul? I am who I am by the laws of my integrity. I dig writing, I want to make people think, I want to make them wonder! I want to be insightful! I want people to open their eyes and see the issues, the demands, the acceptance and the rejection they must face. So many wants so little needs, so many impossiblities!You know, I was going to write meaningless words here and I guess I'm just going to use this to just write. Maybe I'll open someones mind huh? This college thing lets talk about that. So my whole life I knew I was destined for college! I mean I was the fucking model kid who had good grades, honors grad, blah blah blah! Then I come here to Austin, an hour away from home when I really wanted to go to Chicago, but I'm a poor Mexican who for some strange reason cant' cover expenses with fin aid cause i don't know dont' care anymore! But I come here to Austin and I love the City it's strange and insanely diverse and suited for me but, it's just a twirling transition from caring to not caring and wanting to care but knowing it really doensn't matter. I don't know. College is for those who are willing to stick out the fight, because it really is a fight! And no it's not for everyone! I just need to make some adjustments get back into the game and start caring again! I want my life to be good and happy, that's it. I mean I'm going to be a teacher and Human Rights Advocate, I'm not in it for money or fame, I just want happiness and motivation for life! I think I'm going to get that! Ramble roddle, doddle and do. What are the things that you must go through? Laughter and setbacks, heartaches and smiles, prosperity and neglect passion and forget. Ramble and doddle and giggling too! lol what a way to end/start the day!! lol I'm going to stop now before I become a fool that you once knew who forgot to tie her shoe, Did I make you blue, ohhhh you just have the flu....what do you know, me too!! Guess they did turn into meaningless words huh? hehe achoo ciao Moi!
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